Clothes, please?
by TigerRaiken
Summary: CONTINUING! Join Lie Ren as he makes chaos for his teammates with his implied shippings and gains new allies to make the world of Remnant quake before his demented mind, and hopefully not drive Pyrrha insane. Rated for swearing, and whatever else Ren can work into the mix. Now with added CFVY!
1. The Confession

**A/N: Fresh from the burning flames of RWBY Volume 2 Chapter 6! I give you...a look into Ren's mind on what he thought of all this!**

**Warning: Spoilers for Chapter 6 of Volume 2. And Ren's mind.**

**I do not own RWBY or it's characters, they belong to Roosterteeth.**

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><p>'<em>How did it come<em> this?'

Lie Ren wondered at this exact moment, clothed in only a simple pink bath towel from the waste down. Surely he didn't think, not like this. But being pulled from his most relaxing shower, and into the fray by a one team leader named Jaune Arc, he knew it was something.

Dire situations like this weren't to be interrupted. Were it anything else of little consequence, he would have told the taller male to give him a few minutes to change and be properly dressed. But being the silent over-seer of the group, he wanted to make sure nothing was out of place and everyone taken care of.

So he let Jaune drag him back to their dorm where he was seated down, with him plopping down next to him. Jaune looked over to Nora and told her to break out her headphones since 'guy time' was about to begin.

Before Ren could even utter a word of protest to at least wait for him to put clothes on, his leader began his talk.

_'And this might take a while.'_

"Ren, I'm just gonna come out and say it.."

_'Oh please god no. I didn't think my first male-on-male interaction would be you Jaune.'_

"You, are one of my best friends."

_'Oh thank god!'_

These past few months I feel like we've really bonded!" The blond having the sense of a heartfelt speech to his other male comrade.

_'We'll really bond if we washed each other's backs."_

"Eventhough...you don't say much. I mean, you're _really _quiet."

_'I have reasons. I usually say the first thing that's on my mind, got in trouble a lot when I was a kid, never happened again. I hold things in now.'_

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know that much about you."

_'I heard you threw up on a ship once, does that count? Ya know, besides your prestigious family line but you are somehow the black sheep out.'_

"But darn it! I consider you to be the brother I never had!"

_'Aw, that was sweet Jaune...we would really have bonding time if we did like I said earlier. Washing each others backs. It's a sign of friendship...don't be weird man.' _But at this point the lotus warrior's eyes were beginning to dart around the room frantically to try to think of a come back that his leader was waiting for.

_'Oh geez he wants me to say something back when I wasn't really paying attention, quick, evasive maneuvers.'_

"And I you." _'There you go, good Ren.'_

"Which...is why I wanted to get your advice on...girls?"

_'You're going to stop me from getting my clothes on advice about girls?'_

"Girls?" breaking line-of-sight with his intended target to question his leader. _'Can we not have this conversation when I'm naked, please? You'll earn 5 more of my respect points back from when you shunned Pyrrha from your training session the other night._

_'Also, I don't know if you're aware, but the amazon seriously wants your d-'_

"I just..don't know how to...er-um, girls-um! I-" he heard a defeated sigh from his ramblings on trying to speak.

_'Maybe now I can just...reach...a bit further...'_

"I guess what I'm asking is..how did you and Nora..."

_'Hold up. What and me and Nora in that order?' _He had deterred from his path once again, confronted by Jaune's...startling question. Even his own quick-tongued mind couldn't formulate a saucy come back in his head. So a series of sputters and 'ums' were had until the red head in question spoke up.

_'Dammit Nora, you broke guy time rule #1!'_

She herself was unsually...nervously laughing at the situation. "We're not actually...together-together." Even that was strained coming from her.

_'Good Nora, special pancakes for you tomorrow.'_

"Nora, I said headphones on!" Jaune practically yelped at her, like a misbehaving child.

_'The AC in this room is turned up RIDICULOUSLY high, and I'm going to get sick if I don't have clothes so...' _

"Jaune, what is this really all about?" _'Be the good, caring, slightly smaller brother Ren, and getting at least some pants on and we'll be able to work this out.'_

"It's Weiss."

_'Nope, nevermind, I am now going on auto-tune while trying not to ignore you as much as possible. But still...I thought one rejection was enough?...Unless you're into that.'_

His clothes were right...FREAKING there! But being the honorable friend...brother-figure even, Ren would stay and listen...while trying to get a pair of pants.

_'I should have my own show for this. With more assassins. Oh, if everyone only knew what I really thought.'_

_'We are now entering 'Jaune-long-rant status', everyone please hold onto your air bags and strap your children in safely. It will be over shortly.'_

"Then do it."

_'Enter, one amazon that has a thirst higher than Nora's appetite for pancakes.'_

Even the silent guy-time code breaking Nora shuffled her headphones of her head for the entrance of Pyrrha.

His leader, no baffled that she was even listening in to the conversation, had no words to express what she relayed.

"Tell her exactly what you just said."

_'No Pyrrha, don't go to the dark side. You are hurting yourself more.'_

"No ridiculous schemes,"

_'Aw, but the guitar thing was my idea. you almost missed it: we were gonna break out sombreros and quesadillas like a Mariachi band. Didn't know he could play it, honestly. Thought it would be a good plan but it kinda backfired on me.' _

"No pickup lines."

_'I was going to make this harder for him but you and ruining my fun.'_

"Just...be honest."

_'If only it were you being the honest one right now.'_ This time it was Jaunes' turn to interject. Clearly surprised at the confrontation. "But...what it she-"

"Jaune. You can't get it wrong if it's the truth." Giving him the most heartwarming smile a...friend could give.

_'My heart hurts for you, more than our leader can get his thick head through about Weiss.'_

With a new resolve burning in his eyes, their blond leader leapt up from the bed and offered his thanks to Pyrrha. And the offered his thanks to Ren for so _kindly _listening.

_'Anytime!...But seriously though, when can we talk about washing each others backs_? _It could be a bonding experience of a life time!'_

Their now fearless leader left the room in a hurry to make his feelings known to the ice princess. But back to the girl in question who now sluggishly trailed her way over to her desk. She still had work to finish, and she would get it done...eventually. Nora noting her teammates distress decided to signal her in.

"Practice what you preach, Pyrrha.."

_'If I were you in this situation Pyrrha, I would have laid claim to Jaune aaaaaages ago so no potential romance of any other woman would have crossed his mind. And I think that's your Achilles Heel, you're just too nice sometimes. But alas, I am not you.'_

So caught up in the love-life, or lack there-of for his two teammates, Ren spied the surroundings of his room. The only person that kept him from dressing properly was Jaune.

_'We are now minus 1 Jaune.'_

He screamed internally for his luck.

"I can put on clothes now!"

_'Ok that wasn't internally.' _Looking over to see the two women eye him questioningly. _'Ok, quiet Ren mode: Activate'_

"I'll just go...change in the bathroom."

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><p><strong>AN: I don't know what I was thinking. This was going to end differently than the episode, and was going to be serious, but then the inner monologue of Ren's mind and what he actually may be thinking began talking to me.**

**Hmmm, depending on the demand, I might make more if this and his take on other scenes he was in...**

**Hope you enjoy!**


	2. RWBY and JNPR! Assemble!

**And now...we'll take a look into Ren's mind on what he thought in "The First Step: Part 2", "The Emerald Forest: Part 1" and "Players and Pieces"**

**Also, I might change the name of this fic for something else appropriate for Ren's mind musings.**

**I Do Not Own RWBY, Roosterteeh and Monty Oum does**

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><p><em>'GOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLL' <em>Ren's mind shouted while watching Ruby whiz past him and just railroad a small bird.

_'10 points to Ruby'_ grinning while he himself was still going at an incredibly high speed in the air.

_'I would have put on shades but blondy stole my idea.' _He had eyed her before they set off for the cliff. Seemed she knew how they were going into the initiation. But an even better idea formulated in his mind. Nora lately had subjected him to a number of very catchy songs that aired in Vale. And when Ren liked something, it usually played in the background of his mind while daily life proceeded onwards as such. So, what song was playing while being hurtled so many miles per hour through the air?

_'I'm a boss ass bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! I'm a-'_ If the sitting position of arms spread out with Stormflower in both his hands. Taking the wind to his face while his long ponytail swung in the air behind him.

_'I need to stop letting Nora convert me to genre's of music I don't even like. But damn is this catchy! It's like I don't give a fu-'_

He himself was about to end up a very unfortunate soul if he lingered any longer in his head, thinking of a last minute strategy to land safely.

_'Quick! Deploy, ah screw it yolo if I break my arm doing this.'_

It was a shot but using the extended blade from his pistols, the nearest tree was met carving a candy cane path down the tree trunk. Coming around completely unscathed brushing off his pants legs from tree bark.

_'See, a most delicate and expertly timed landing by yours truly, good thing I thought of t-'_

"WAHOOOOO!"

_'Bitch!' _Hearing the sound of explosions go off, they belonged to a one, idea stealer named Yang. Ren started to walk off in his own direction to nowhere in particular to search or relics.

_'I feel like later on, she and I are going to fight and I'll strangely be turned on awkwardly from her kicking my ass...premonition much?'_

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><p><em>'And this is where I question: are they filming another Anacondas movie and I didn't know it and I've been secretly cast? Because if so, I am very disappointed I was not told. I love those movies.'<em>

Trying to come upon a fresh and easy meal, a King Taijitu stared down the lone warrior in the open grassy field.

_'There should be some music somewhere...while I flip through stacks of CD's in my mind...ahaha! There it is. How about we rock it to the first part Celldweller: The Last Firstborn, snakey?'_

He was met back with a loud hiss. The kin curling up into a defensive ball ready to lunge if the boy made a move. Meanwhile Ren rolled his eyes from the giant Grimm.

_'I'm making you into matching holsters for Stormflower.'_

_'After I make Nora a very fashionable purse. And some loafers...and a belt...and hat and-'_

The beast lunged forth, fangs wide open ready for the kill for the still rambling boy.

_'This can wait.'_

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><p><em>'Nora + Ursa+ caffeine= my problems. 98% of that is just exclusively Nora anyway. Maybe if I had a little bit of caffeine, maybe I could keep up with her2 second plans to ride an Ursa-oh geezus Christ I can't take my eyes off of her for a second!'<em>

"NORA!"

"Coming Ren~"

_'I don't get paid enough to be her handler. She was mingling with the normal people and now they're questioning my sanity. Good thing I have some to spare.'_

This clearly is a good time to go introduce myself while my companion fawns over her chess piece. This would have been good until a loud yelling from the sky came crashing down upon us. A girl in red flailing for her life. That is until like a bullet to the side, a lanky blond veered her off to the side by colliding into each other.

_'It's raining men? No I don't think that's appropriate enough.'_ The trees in our surrounding area began to crumble and fall to the ground, making a way to the temple. A red-haired amazon emerged from the trees clearly running at top speed. Ren was about to question why when a giant DeathStalker practically mowed down the trees in its path to get to the girl.

_'Is this trip going to be one big expedition of movie spoofs I am not prepared for? Because now I think we're in The Mummy...or the Scorpion King, or Clash of Titans, whichever movie has a giant scorpion in it, I don't know.'_

"Can everyone just calm down for 2 seconds before something crazy happens!?" As if that wasn't bad enough, finally making his way over to introduce himself, Red Riding Hood poked the elder and pointed up to the sky.

_'Giant Nevermore...I don't have a movie reference for that.'_

"How could you leave me?!"

'_Question is: why haven't you let go yet? You like...just landed with your glyphs. I swear people with no effort in landing strategies.' _

"I said jump?"

"She's gonna fall."

"She'll be fine."

Before he could make more questions for himself, her grip must have slipped on the talon and her body started to plummet down to the ground.

"She's falling." He added in himself.

_'Correction, it's raining women. Now this is appropriate.'_

Cutting his eyes away from seeing her inevitable death from falling, the same boy from earlier emerged from the trees with a bridal carry ready and caught her in the knick of time. Some cheesy line was said and now the both of them fell so ungracefully to the ground.

The guy was first, landing on his front. Then she with not a care in the world landing on his back just looking at her nails in a bored fashion. "My hero."

"My back."

_'My back too. It hurts from the visualization just now...I think we should bond, bro.'_

And that was the moment Ren realized he wanted to be on Jaune's team.

_'There's waaaaaaaayyyyyy too many chicks here anyway. I'll need a wingman, and you'd look like the perfect dorky blond guy to fit the criteria.'_

The red head from earlier being chased by a DeathStalker had lost the amazing race and skidded to a halt in front of us from being smacked by a claw.

_'Well for your troubles miss Amazon for not winning the race but being damn close, a consolation prize of hoping you're on our team for more badassery. We're going to wreck this school year.'_

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><p><em>'Sticking Nora with Jaune over there might have been a bad idea.'<em>

Looking over to see the 2 separated, he smiled back to Nora.

_'Hi Nora.'_

Hearing the sound of her hammer go off from the explosive trigger and Jaune yelping, Pyrrha, now that he had her name firing off dust rounds to stave the Grimm back. His own pistols were at work until 2 bodies landed ahead of them with Nora in a signature salute pose gliding through the air.

_'Bye Nora.'_

Trying to smash through the thick armour didn't work when the stinger threatened to pierce her. Using another round she shot off landed back to everyone else but just straight up knocking the black cat girl off of the ledge.

_'Have I ever told you about Nora's accidental death kills? I think we're up to 10. 37 of mine were attempted.'_

When he assumed the worst, she came back fling high into the slashing her blade along the Nevermore's back trying to work through its' tough feathers.

_'Nevermind, we're back down to 9. Meanwhile, while Charlie's Angels + 1 take down the Nevermore, they left us with the DeathStalker.'_

One of it's many eyes surveyed the teenagers before them, some especially looking down at himself.

_'Why do I have the feeling I'm about to get wrecked?'_

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><p><em>'Apparently giant scorpions do not like: Blades in the eyes, or bullets trying to shoot through it's stinger. I'm paying for that right now.'<em>

is balance was lost when Pyrrha's blade made its way into one of its eyes and caused it to thrash wildly.

_'Crap crap crap!'_

Grip loosened, he was sent flying off to the side while Nora yell his name for concern. Oddly enough, a song came to mind with the way he was thrown.

_'I came in like a wreeeeecking ball!-'_

"Ofpmh!" And that, was the sound of Ren crashing into a broken stone wall, sliding down to the dirt from the impact.

_'Stupid...wrecking ball song...throwing me off.' _He would have gotten up but the ground beneath him was so comfortable to move just yet. The only time he did move was when his temp team demolished what was left of the bridge and landed in a line fashion.

_'I...am so much more awesome, than all of you combined. Even Nora's awesome cannot compare to mine.'_

His strength gave out on him at the wrong moment. Falling face forward with a sigh back into the ground next to Pyrrha.

_'I even land on my face better than you.'_

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><p>"Jaune Arc, Nora Valkyrie, Pyrrha Nikos, and Lie Ren."<p>

_'That's Lie 'teh master' Ren.'_

"From this moment onward you will be known as "Team JNPR, led by, Jaune Arc."

Standing more proudly than anyone else. A glomp from Nora almost sent him off the stage.

_'Nora calm down, not in front of the kids.'_

Eyeing his new leader, he spotted Pyrrha just glow with excitement for the young man and playfully punch him in the arm. The punch being too strong for him sent him down on the stage and even the auditorium laugh at the scene. She looked back to the headmaster with the same glowing expression.

_'I ship it. I ship this hard, more than me and Nora actually, but that ship will come later.'_

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><p><strong>AN: Ok, that was a bit fun.**

**I really didn't know if I should have turned this into a series or not but I DID leave it open and not complete, plus reviews are always nice. Again, I know the dance is like...the next day so that one will take time to write. R&R and tell me how this works. Or ya know...prompts for Ren area always nice too.**

**Also for those of you waiting on an update for "Just A Little Bite?", still working on the actual real first chapter, and trying to acquire a beta reader so please be patient!**

**R&R**

**Raiken~**


	3. Dance Dance Inebriation

**A/N: SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 7 OMG. THIS FUCKING EPISODE. I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS NOW. THERE IS NO STOPPING ME. THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST PERFECTION.**

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><p><em>'This dance is alright, I give it a 7 out of 10 for now. Someone needs to spike the punch though, this would be a lot more interesting.'<em>

The dance had arrived without a hitch in the world. Hopefully Ren and Jaune's talk bro-to-bro moment had done the blond some good.

Even now while the faithful ship of Renora tried to formal ball dance correctly. Surprisingly, Nora was very good at it...now that they had gotten past her stepping on his toes 47 times.

_'Oh you should have seen earlier, she was swinging me around like I was her prize in King Kong.'_

The more collected one of Team JNPR scanned the premises for his blond leader, but in his search, found a one Pyrrha just mildly shuffling through the other dancers on the floor.

_'Jaune, you better get out here and fix this mess. Her being sad makes me more devious, and you thought me spiking the punch bowl was going to be bad.'_

_'Oops, I just let it slip that I already spiked the drinks, fuck.'_

Nora only had slightly worried looks to pass me, she too was worried for her teammates well being.

_'And the fact that she wants our leader like a faunus in mating season.'_

It was a minute before Ren decided to answer himself.

_'Wait, how do I know that?'_

His own thoughts were interrupted by loud laughing from the main entrance hall.

_'Oh dear lord, did he actually do what he told me he was going to do about that Pyrrha thing?'_

Lo and behold, as other patrons were pushed aside, a tall, slightly more muscled Jaune...in a dress stood now before the amazon warrior. In a dress.

Now, Ren's mind was just having a wee tiny bit of trouble processing what he was seeing.

_'Jaune. In a dress.'_

Pink eyes roamed the boy over, still trying to scan for any imposter mistakes.

_'He's in. A dress.'_

Few things in this world made Lie Ren laugh, and this was close to making his crack his stone-faced demeanor. Trying so desperately to not let a tiny sound slip from his mouth.

_'Keep calm, don't look any further.'_

The brow of Rens' right eye twitched and tried not go out of function from trying to keep himself under control.

_'Facial facade failing. Ren. exe is in danger of crashing.'_

Their partners before them were now shooting questions back and forth.

"Jaune?"

Cat calls were made trying to mock his leader in a dress.

_'I'd like to_ _see you losers be able to strut in a dress. He ain't even mad bro.'_

The goofy blond only shrugged to himself with a smile. "Eh, a promise is a promise."

Then the most angelic voice of laughter was gracing his hears. Pyrrha Nikos was laughing, full on _laughing._ _'I don't think I've ever seen her happier. Well, except that one time she stumbled in on Jaune coming from a recent shower in the bathroom. I could have sworn I saw I saw her curse under her breath at not being able to see him fully in the nude whilst she still profusely apologized.'_

"Jaune! You didn't have to!" Still being overwhelmed with laughter.

"Hey, an Arc never goes back on his word."

_'If that's true I don't ever want to see you make one on whenever we're gonna play 'Never Have I Ever'_

Now confident in his own abilities to impress, he held his hand out to the blushing red head. "Now do you want to stand there and laugh at me, or do you want to dance?" His confidence breaking Pyrrha's train of thought.

_'Well damn, Arc's got some swagger in his voice now. I think he might have made Pyrrha malfunction there for 2 seconds. I now rate this dance 10 out of 10'_

"I would love to dance." Taking her leaders offered hand. When she held onto his, she let out a sound of surprise from being pulled forward into his dancing embrace.

_'Theeeeere ya go, now just relax and break out the smolder.'_

Jaune began to twirl his dance partner off to the side while a delighted squeal being swooped away by her idiot knight in shining gown.

_'Pyrrha. exe stopped working. Please contact the help desk.' _

"Ren! This. Is. HAPPENNING!"

_'Wait, I know this catchy tune that just now decided to play.'_

_'Oh dear god, she remembers. Just play it cool Ren and maybe she won't press it further.'_

"Wait, what is happening?"

He was only not entirely prepared for his energetic partner to pull him off to the dance floor with Jaune and Pyrrha.

_'Aw shitberries. I'm not buzzed enough to do this yet Nora wait-'_

Cue awesome dance music.

_'Yeah, we're totally showing up all the other teams right now. And our leader is in a dress.'_

_'LIKE A BOSS!'_

_'This would be a bad time to say We Got The Moves Like Jaeger.'_

_'We're going to be ourselves and no one's gonna stop us now!'_

_'Goddamn Jaune, you're really working that dress right now, might make Yang jealous.'_

_'I'm still curious as to how we all know how to do this in sync!'_

_'Jaune: Me, you, we're going clubbing later at some point. We'll be an awesome dance duo and we'll call outselves: Lie and Cheat. Heh heh, get it?'_

_'Alright buzzed feeling starting to affect my way of thinking, gotta slow down.'_

Now that the fiasco of Team JNPR kicking off the exciting dancing portion of the dance, Ren and Nora went back to their own goofy dancing.

"So I've been thinking."

"That's dangerous for you Nora."

"But but but hear me out!"

"Does this have anything to do with why we're boogying like it's some alternate universe 1970's disco dance?"

"No no shhhhhhHHHHHHHH!"

"Nora, the 'shhh' didn't have to get louder at the end."

"What if we.."

"If we?" Trying to get her to spill what she was trying to say. Contrary to belief, Ren was now having more fun than before, what if killer dance routines being optimal for team-bonding.

"Came out finally and said we're 'together-together'. I mean they're gonna find out sometime even if it's an over observing Jaune or you forgetting how to talk for 2 seconds to tell him now...Ren..Ren?!"

_'Ren. exe has stopped working. Please replace entire hard drive.'_

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><p><strong>AN: Chapter 7 is out for sponsors but the rest of you have like almost an hour left to get the goodness that I'm talking about.**

**I NEED TO TALK ABOUT ARKOS THINGS NOW.**

**I should have mentioned this one was gonna be short. Plus, I just NEEDED to do this immediately after the episode. R&R I now take prompts for Ren's mind!**

**Raiken~**


	4. Entries into the daily life

**A/N: Hiiiii. I'm back from Anime Weekend Atlanta. So in short, everyone says I'm an adorable Adam Taurus, RWBY shoot was fuuuun, and I met the most awesomest Pyrrha OMFG SHE WAS SO NICE-anyway, this takes place during the night of the last episode of Volume 1 since the official last time we saw team JNPR was the end of Forever Fall. These original ideas that happen while team JNPR is off-screen might come and go so don't expect to see the last of them just yet. But yes I am also working on other volumes episode ideas.**

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><p><em>'You know, this can't be a documentary if I don't physically talk.'<em>

Ren sighed to himself. In front with his hands he held a new video camera he just recived from back home to let them know how he was doing. Fortunately his family knew of his sarcastic nature and actually talked more around them so anything he sent them, wouldn't be too shocking.

The red dot in the corner of the screen blinked repeatedly at the young man's face. He would have to speak sometime.

_'They need to make thoughts audibly heard because I don't talk much, but this is for family I suppose.'_

"Hi family, as you know, I'm here at Beacon: lovely place actually once you get past some of the stupid people."

_'Ah this is harder than I thought. I've grown so used to keeping my thoughts to myself that I can't make snide remarks while talking to myself anymore. Well I'm gonna make this work.'_

Trying to put on a small smile for his family, he spoke in a louder tone but only to himself.

"Now, I'm going to take you into the astounding wildlife of Beacon academy and my team where we will 'observe' some of the subjects."

_'Oh,? You thought this was going be some feelsy friendship bonding video? You thought wrong. I'm treating my teammates as if they are wild animals in some Animal Planet documentary. Well, maybe not all of the time. This is going to be fun.'_

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><p>Currently, the recording device in his hands shook violently, swaying back and forth as the cameraman Lie Ren ran for his life.<p>

"I seemed to have stumbled upon a little one while attempting to capture it on film. It's grown attached and now seeks my attention!" He was becoming out of breath, swerving immediately to the right and finding a nearby closet. The camera being flung in any direction still continued to record from a first person view of his erratic actions. Once the door closed the darkness enveloped the screen, only the ragged breathing of Ren was heard.

Finding the switch somewhere on the back of it he turned it on the screen was immediately illuminated with Ren's face trying to take in the night vision for a second.

"As you can see, I have found a suitable...hiding spot for the time being away from the beast." Very loud thumps made their way and only Ren's eyes seemed to move over to the blackened door behind him. Apparent fear in his eyes when it seemed to get louder. He slowly looked back to the camera when it stopped. He knew he was doomed now.

"I would come up with a proper name for this species but I'm too terrified right now to do so." His speech not at all betrayed by his very calm voice he always used. "But it is out for my attention."

"REEENNN!" Suddenly the door behind him flung open letting light flood in blinding the camera for a moment with bright light. The young man on screen looked behind himself.

"Send help immediately, not really you know what I mean but-S.O.S!" Now that the camera had been adjusted, it was dropped from his grasp to land upside down on the floor from the other person in the doorway. The red light still kept blinking while the now girl behind him dragged him out by his collar.

_'Nora would ruin my recording now.'_

"You promised chocolate chip pancakes covered lateeerrr! And now it's later! So chop chop mister!" Her cheery smile that could be mistaken for craziness was always about. Ren threw his upper body out to claw the floor as an attempt to keep himself where he was.

"Nora that was an hour ago."

"Well you didn't say how much later and an hour seems like later enough so I'm declaring now later!"

_'Oum help me.'_ His fingers dug into the hard wood of the hallway he was being dragged out into the light. He looked longingly back to the camera. He figured he would have to leave it behind for now.

_'I hope the battery lasts.'_

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><p>Strolling down the corridors of Beacon, Ren walked with his camera held chest level in front of, scouting for a possible subject to film. Now that Nora had her fill and was content, she went off to go bother their fearless leader who held his place in the gym for the past hour. But at least he kept it lively and not quiet the entire time, though it would help if he wasn't trying to sound like a documentary specialist. "Beacon Academy, a lively, bustling nest full of wonderous creatures. And every single one of them is unique."<p>

_'Unique in that I think everyone is beneath me.' _He snickered to himself. At about this time it was late at night when he strolled the halls. The point of view now switching to the camera with the red dot flashing in the middle, it caught up . Maybe he should go bother his leader and the Spartan that so _quietly _lusted after him.

_'Quietly? You could put a Beowolf inbetween them and it would just dissipate into smoke from how heated the sexual tension is.'_

Ren was trying to be the good friend, and not so bluntly tell the blonde that to his face without Pyrrha trying to wring his neck. But she would never kill a person right?

Heh heh...

_'I..I got nothing. I don't know if she'd actually do it. But considering how smitten she is with leader boy...love can make you do a lot of crazy things.'_

The camera jiggled slowly in his grasp as he looked down to the outstretched mini screen to the side so he could monitor progress.

_'I'll go visit the gym to observe more subjects.'_

"And now for something completely different."

* * *

><p>To say this was awkward wasn't...too far off but this was also material he could use for his video to send back home. Nora was right, Jaune was here alright. Along with their female tank of the group.<p>

Nora didn't mention Pyrrha had moved their training regimen to the gym for today. She called it 'super secret info' that from now on on Thursdays they would meet in the gym for her training to build him to a better hunter. Nora bustled with contained excitement from her spot.

Her spot, was when Ren came in and she latched herself to his back like a koala bear-wait...a _sloth _she would say.

_'Nora and sloths, I'll never understand why.'_ Ren was perfectly fine with the added weight to his back. Nora often stole piggyback rides from him when they were little, or just made him fall on all fours and say 'YYYYEEEEEEHAAAWWW'. He walked slowly around the padded floor of the gym, often used for sparring and throwing people so no one would get hurt.

Ren couldn't stop hitting the zoom button on Pyrrha and Jaune's current location at a bench with weights while Pyrrha spotted him. Both in casual workout gear. Pyrrha stripped down to a red sports bra with black shorts that ended just above her knees. For a woman of the Spartan's caliber, she maintained a defined and trim figure with visible ab muscles. Her hair in a ponytail over her shoulder overlooking Jaune and his progress.

She had given him a weight of 45 lbs to start off with. And gradually she kept adding more to it until he was no benching 85. To make sure he didn't hurt himself she kept a hand right under the bar from where his elbows bent to push back up.

"Is it happening yet Ren?!" Nora tried to silently scream into his ear, her head next to his eyeing his camera.

"Not yet." Well, now was the time to clue his family in on his 2 teammates, with cameraman style.

"This is Pyrrha Nikos, you know Mistralian warrior, all the good stuff, but she's also painfully in love with this guy..." The camera went down to the now struggling blond who panted from near exhaustion. His hair was a sweaty mess from the workout but his coach continued to drill him for more reps. "Jaune Arc, he um...isn't the sharpest to take hints, and he hasn't in our entire first semester here." _'That and he has an awkward crush on Weiss Schnee who won't even give him the time of day to say he doesn't even care about her last name. I'm not supporting this, I just wish Ice Queen would see through that.'_

Pyrrha did resemble a lion if she had a long red mane, but she was a powerful lioness. And one that sought out a specific type of prey.

The camera zoomed in more on her face, showing her obvious restraint. The glimmer in her eyes was shown as the screen panned down to the blond boy below her. Jaune was coming along nicely in his training. When Ren had arrived, the knight had already discarded his shirt aside.

_'I don't know whose idea it was to give Jaune low riding sweat pants but its making Pyrrha drool like a waterfall.'_

He made sure to angle the camera down on his unsuspecting target, grinning maniacally all the while. The blond did acquire a new set of abs for his scraggly form and beefed up juuuust a bit.

_'She's shaping him up and molding him the way she wants. I knew red-heads were demanding but this is for the better...if she can keep her hands off of him for another 3 years.' _It was then a recent plan struck his thought process.

"Nora, time for Operation: Arkos."

"WOOOO!" She screamed a bit too loud before Ren turned his head to her and shushed her quietly with a finger to his lips.

"Quietly Nora."

"Quietly!"

With that she vaulted off his back, making the lotus warrior almost collapse with camera in hand. She bounded off to the side where she knew Jaune stored his workout bag and dug through it.

_'...Don't all of you look at me like that. I'm bored, and need entertaining. And shipping these two passes the time by...my family is the same as me when it comes to humor.'_

Pyrrha had to bit her lip when she finally let up on him and he rested the weight back down on the rack. He moved to get up dragging his leg over to his side and leaned back. His lean back showcased his developing muscles, somewhat covered in sweat. His breathing making the already strained muscles to flex even further.

_'This. Is. Gold. Think I might make a killing selling this off to Pyrrha? Nah she's a teammate...special discount then.'_ Immediately panning to Pyrrha whe tried her best to not come over and touch him off handedly. But she settled with a slight walk over to him and patted his shoulder, saying he did good for today.

Ren wasn't blind to see how her hand left his skin so unwillingly.

_'Half of my entertainment here stems from these 2.'_

The camera now chose to follow back over to Nora who as the kind friend she was came up from behind Jaune and tapped his shoulder. He looked back to see an open water bottle in his face. He graciously accepted and while the hammer wielder bounded away again.

"What he doesn't know is that Nora has sabotaged that bottle by cutting it around the top. So it's about to come off." Talking back into the camera.

Sure enough when Ren popped back over to Pyrrha she herself had dumb bells in her hands and all of her motion had stopped when she looked over to their leader. _'Oh yeah this is hook, line, and sinker.' _He waited for the moment when the blond dipped his head back. Ren scrambled backward to get the perfect shot of Pyrrha and Jaune in the same frame.

As Jaune's head leaned back, the precariously topped bottle head came off and the water was dumped onto his face, and down his neck...his chest. He yelped from the surprise of something cold hitting his body, jumping up off the bench to shake his head clear.

"Aww Nora! The bottle you gave me is defective!"

Immediately the camera screen zoomed in on Pyrrha's face. All manner of emotion had left it as she stared. Except for the reddest tinge on her cheeks. Nora from the sidelines giggled from her reaction.

_'I think we might have broken her.'_

"Whoops! Sorry Jaune~!"

_'Yes, great acting Nora, top-notch 5 stars._'

"You alright there Jaune?" Ren tried to asked in his most concerned voice for his leader.

"Yeah I'm just a little wet is all, faulty water bottles." _'Yeah, faulty...let's go with that.'_

The screen went to examine every inch of jaune as he turned around, trying to inspect himself and see if any other part of himself was wet.

"Speaking of wet.."_ 'Bad Ren, you're supposed to be keeping this T rated .' _Panning back over to the tall Spartan who now with renewed vigor began pumping her dumbbells at a faster rate. Yeah she was clearly trying to think of something else at the moment.

_'Mainly taking Jaune by his waist and throwing him over her shoulder like a cave woman who found her man. A very **strong **cavewoman. Or in this case Mistralian female warrior. I hear they're known for taking charge.'_

_'Taking charge of that d-'_

"Here ya go Jaune since your last bottle broke, I got you more water!"

_'Wait, this wasn't in the plan.'_

Off camera, Jaune's voice was heard thanking her for getting some more when Ren veered the screen back onto Jaune. With his back turned, the unsuspecting blond didn't see their hyper hammer wielder practically throw one of the giant water coolers that was used to store water bottles and sports drinks. And all the of the cold water hit Jaune like a truck, letting out a high pitched yell from the freezing water. He was now thoroughly soaked through from head to toe in water and getting the padded gym floor wet.

Ren had to face palm behind the camera at Nora's added in part of the plan. Ren wanted this to be simple, but Nora liked taking the damage level to max in these types of things.

_'My fault, should have been watching her and not trying to think of ways to edit this video for Pyrrha's demise. Speaking of which...I wonder what is going through her mind right now?'_

* * *

><p><em>'GODDAMMIT!'<em>

* * *

><p><em>'I'm sorry Pyrrha...and yet I am not.'<em>

"N-N-N-Nora!? How was this supposed to help?!" The blond shivered holding himself from shivering from his muscles tensing. Being desperate, he sought out the towel on his nearby bench to dry himself off, stretching his body out so that is natural body heat would return.

_'Wait...this is better.'_

"Well you wanted more water since your last one broke. So I figured you must be really_** thirsty**_-"

_'...Ha, I get it.'_

"And what better way to quench your thirst-"

_'Ha, I need to stop laughing at the word thirst.'_

"AND cool you off at the same time with the cooler I just dunked on you!" She replied happily, having sat the now empty container down and used it as her stool. Just off screen the sound of metal bending, a squeaking sound reached everyone's ears. Ren shot the camera back over the Pyrrha who-

"Oh geez." He uttered.

In her hands the dumbbells she _was _working out with were now bent at very odd angles within her grasp. To say Pyrrha's semblance seeped out just a tiny bit was an understatement, causing the metal to hand very low and no longer in a horizontal shape. An even more flushed Pyrrha looked away from Jaune, hurriedly bending down to set aside the now useless training equipment. Jaune being the caring guy he was for his teammates, hurried over to her to look over her hands, checking to see if the metal ad hurt her any.

"The male lion, now fearful of his partners' well being rushed over to make sure if she's alright. Concern and worry while his own paws graze over hers for injuries."

_'Back to animal commentary.' _The lens focusing in on various spots of the scene before him. "You can plainly see the affectionate gaze the lioness gives in shy glances to the male, hoping that when next mating season time comes around, it would be her chance to strike, and he finally claim her as his."

The warrior raised his brow in confusion, taking the camera away from himself for a sec to just stare blankly.

_"Wow, I need to tone it down a notch.'_ Going back to the 2 predators, after Pyrrha staving Jaune off about her hands, he told her something and waved back, heading off for the showers. Ren took this time to sidle up beside Pyrrha with the camera shaking. Now facing Jaune's leaving form, Ren decided to mess with the camera for a minute, knowing Pyrrha was overlooking his shoulder. He reached to the side rewind button and played back continuously the moment the water started to roll off of his leaders' body. The rewind sound the obvious noise playing every time he turned it.

"Ren?"

"Yes Pyrrha?"

"Please stop."

"Ok." She may have said stop, but he still wasn't entirely done. Going back to recording, he zoomed in all the way to the blond's rear.

"The male lion, so majestic and graceful, watching him leave the presence of an aroused female is one that takes skill, poise, and restraint." He looked over to his teammate and saw her focused eyes. The camera lens trailed the source back to his leaders' rear. "Wouldn't you think so Pyrrha?" He knew he wouldn't get a response, she was too into it at the moment, a longing stare when the camera was trained in on her face.

He finally snapped his fingers once in front of her face. "Pyrrha!"

"Huh wha...I mean something about...French fries."

Ren couldn't help the snicker in his throat, returning to his casual demeanor. "You were ogling him like a horny school girl-which you are." She seemed to fake appreciate the psycho-analysis he gave of her, sighing to herself.

"Don't worry Pyrrha, we'll get him someday." Offering his hand on her shoulder in comfort.

"Speaking of _getting _someone."

_'Aw tofu.'_ He should have known this was coming. He did have this coming for a while since he pegged that she was after Jaune's heart. Because this wasn't the first time Nora and Ren tried to enact Operation: Arkos.

"I guess...that means I should start running, right?"

"I'll give you a 5 second head start." Crossing her arms rightfully. Just waiting for the right moment. The silence between them thickened.

"Yeah, I'll be going now."

"Bye Ren!" Nora without a care waved back to her partner in crime, without any blame.

* * *

><p>The camera shaking viciously in his hands as he ran down the hallway. Yeah leading Pyrrha Nikos on was probably not a good idea.<p>

"Dear Mom, Dad, everyone, I may not make it through this ordeal. A wild lioness has sniffed me out and is out for my blood-ahh!" He happened to turn the camera around him at the wrong time for the angle to show the blood-fueled Spartan hot on his tale and gaining fast.

"There's no way I can outrun her and while we've passed other very vulnerable targets *cough* Cardin *cough* she's **dead set** on me!" The scared man audibly yelled in front of the screen from narrowly escaping the lioness' grip by a hair just then.

"Oh dust I don't want to die yet!" With a final leap, tired of their chase, the Beacon student tackled the smaller man from behind. Making his camera slip from his hands and land sideways facing them. Satisfied with her catch, she grabbed a leg of his and drug him backwards. Ren knowing this was the end for him, began his final input.

"It appears I have been captured and am now being taken back to killed, then eaten." His nails did no good trying to keep from being inevitably pulled back. "Well, it's been fun this past semester with my team. As you can see we're bonding just fine. I can't say what limbs will be missing by the time she's done with me and I send you another video update, but I hope its the one that counts."

They were approaching the corner bend and soon he would disappear from sight.

"Well that's all for now, stay tuned and next time I might have a mating ritual set up-ahhh!" Pyrrha dragged him just a little bit faster and they were out of sight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah, not my best chapter, but I couldn't resist the thought of Ren having a camera and documenting their daily lives inside the JNPR room.**

**Also...I want to hug team CFVY, they need to be in their room in a giant cuddle pile sleeping their tired little heads.**

**As always Read & Review, Sarcastic Ren watches you, good day everyone.**

**Raiken~**


	5. Now with added CFVY!

**A/N: Here's your freshly made crack chapter from my mind. This takes place...after the ending of Volume 2 some time.**

**I do NOT own RWBY or its characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth Productions does.**

* * *

><p><em>'I. Will. Strangle him.'<em>

"Yeah! I know right!"

"I am glad...I decided to accompany you Jaune."

_'This greatly displeases me.'_

Why was Lie Ren displeased you ask? Well maybe because earlier in the week, a certain rabbit faunus of Team CFVY decided to ask Jaune out for an 'outing' on the weekend. His blond leader, being happy as can be accepted and would not stop stressing about it all week.

Much to the lotus warrior's displeasure. A lot of displeasure.

_'This ship, it must be burned to the ground. I don't know what to call...this yet but it must not sail.'_

His leader was out and about in Vale with Velvet Scarlatina. An upperclassmen. She was only about a year and a half older than the starting teams. But it meant she was a huntress-in-training longer than they have been. And that came with experience.

_'This is interfering with my ship. I must stop it.'_

"Ren!"

Turning to my faithful companion that decided to tag along to Vale with me. She as well had the same, dissatisfied frown on her face. Don't get us wrong! We have nothing against Faunus. It's just the fact that she's a _girl _and she's maybe interested in _Jaune_, was the problem. Nora appeared as the energetic person of the group, but she could be serious if she damn well wanted to be.

"What're we gonna do about this?" She asked in a hushed manner. The duo had cleverly hidden themselves amongst the foliage of the sidewalk to hide, well at least one of them did. Nora tried to imitate the many limbs of the tree she was trying to hide behind.

_'I am putting very much emphasis on try.' _Back to his team leader across the street-

He and Velvet strolled along the sidewalk, noticing Jaune's wild animated gestures when he talked, the girl only seemed to laugh at his jokes. The stoic warrior could only roll his eyes at his antics.

_'5 lien says this is his first date in...ever.' _Peeking out from the bushes to their next destination.

**'**_**If **we can call it that.' _Their destination led them to a gift shop of sorts. One of which made Velvet look up to Jaune expectantly. He seemed just a bit off no when his hand went to the back of his head nervously. A few words were said that Ren could not overhear before the rabbit funny went to tug on Jaune's arm to go inside.

_'Not liking this one bit.'_

"Ren? Can I break her legs?" Ah Nora, ever the supporter of a ship.

"No breaking upper classmen's legs."

"Awww." And sometimes I hated breaking her heart like that, but it was for the best lest we have the rest of Velvet's team hunting them down. Ren heard something snap above him. Poking his head out from the bush he was in, several leaves got caught in his hair when he looked up. Just in time for a familiar pink body to come crashing down on him.

"Ow."

"Sorry Ren!" Poking his head out once again, their targets had disappeared into the store. His eyes narrowed, just what possibly could be going on? As far as he knew, Velvet and Jaune had no prior interaction, 1st semester and shortly after the 'Grimm invasion' of Vale.

_'If you could even call it an invasion. Team CFVY shows up and makes us first years look like total noobs.'_

After Nora's initial fall on top of her BFF, she righted herself to have her head poking out fro the bushes as well. "What are we gonna do about this Ren?! We can't just...sit by and let this happen! Our OTP is gonna be ruined!" Nora sounded very adamant about this. And just like her partner, Ren knew it interfered with his plans of the Knight and the Spartan hooking up.

They both would not stand for this.

A plan began to formulate in his head as the gears turned.

"I know what we must do." Concluding to himself. He mangled his way out of the bushes to make back for the airship drop off. They would have to be quick about this. Though it was early in the day, who's to say how long Jaune and velvet would be in town for. Nora in his wake following along her partner.

"We can't just go up to her and let it be known there is _another. _This has to be handled delicately, and I know just the people to talk to."

* * *

><p>A few solid raps on the door back at Beacon Academy had Ren just a tad nervous. He should have handled this mission alone rather than with Nora. Looking back to her, maybe going to their upper classmen was a bad idea?<p>

But before he could make his decision on whether to abandon ship, the door opened to reveal a young man. Looking about a year older than then and significantly taller than he himself.

_'I should feel something about almost every male (and Pyrrha) being taller than me but that is my heritage.'_

The dark skinned male before him most notably, had his arm covered in various scars, and white eyes? Ren didn't like assuming what people were when first meeting them, it would seem rude and then you would feel like such a inconsiderate person for stating the obvious or assuming wrong and then you feel like an ass.

But Ren most definitely did not want to come right out and say-

"Ren! It's a demon! Entirely white eyes that'll steal your soul! Don't look!" Within the next few seconds Nora had latched herself onto his side and covered his eyes, making him lose his balance and fall over.

...O..k? Maybe not exactly what she was thinking but Ren knew from Nora-speak that she noted he was blind. Or was, is...dunno.

If Ren could facepalm at this exact second he would and he hoped their fellow huntsman would think nothing of it. From what he could gather after hastily getting up to offer an apology, the older man made a small smirk with the corner of his mouth that was lined with a scar.

"If you want to call it that." Ren was more surprised by the deep, raspy voice that came out. Or more of drowsy. Now leaning up against the doorframe to the first years.

"If you're here to sympathize, I'm not looking for it." Yawning now to himself. "Now what do you want?" His white pupils seemed to scan in every direction, trying to find the source of where they were standing. But Ren wouldn't keep this mans' valuable time anymore if they obviously knew he was blind.

"Fox, is it?" He final decided to speak. "We have urgent news regarding your teammate Velvet." If Ren could flee from how focused Fox's white sclera's zeroed in on him he would, so he decided to elaborate. "What I mean is 'developing' information that you and the rest of your teammates need to know."

The partially blind man could stare in the direction the voice came from with a blank stare. Slowly before his left brow rose at what was just said. Even then he yawned openly into his hand, dearly missing his sleep.

_'Is he...going to say anything?'_ Ren could keep a stone cold face for a long while but he would meet his match when his own opponent couldn't even see him.

_'That's just an unfair advantage.'_

"Fooooox! Who is it?" A female voice came out from behind him. A bit older in tone and clearly being roused from sleep. Fox turned his head to the inside of the room.

"Nothing, just trying to tell some Jehovah's witness' we don't want any."

Well that was unexpected. He turned back to Ren and Nora with a sly grin on his face. Clearly the he knew the stoic ale now look baffled.

_'Oh he's one of **these **guys.'_

"So, are you gonna tell me what you're selling or not?"

_'I think I like him, he can stay.'_ Since the attitudes were now out in the open, Ren didn't have to hold back anymore.

"Bunny girl, danger imminent, massive shipping problems, whole of Remnant explodes, this woman-" Now gesturing back to his partner in crime Nora giving a salute to him. "Hi!" enthusiastically shouting, "-breaking **_everyone's_ **legs in sight from our soap opera ending. You get my drift?" Hoping this man spoke Ren's language. While the few seconds of silence seemed to tick by while processing this situation.

"Please..." Stepping aside for the 2 to enter. "Come inside, we have matters to discuss."

* * *

><p>"If you got a chart, I can't see that because you know...blind and all."<p>

"But you navigate so well."

"I can see flames of aura, not outlines of people, that's about it and I got nothing. It does get me out of taking out the trash."

"Doesn't mean we can't still make you."

"You tried that one time, I ended up at a kids daycare."

"That was still fun."

"Not when the kids are pissing themselves because of some 'demon' in the daycare.'

"But you love kids."

"I'm not allowed back there."

_'What the hell am I even listening to?'_

This was the situation he found himself in once he stepped foot into CFVY's room was Coco and Fox bantering back and forth. It had a similar set up to JNPR's room, 2 sets of beds on either side of the room, decorated in what he assumed, one was girls side other was the guys side. Magenta eyes scanned over to the much larger bed than everyone elses' and could only guess who it belonged to.

_'Well I know where Yatsuhashi sleeps.'_

Speaking of him, it seemed that Ren and Nora had stumbled upon them just waking up with Coco, their fashionable leader leaning away from the giant sword wielder on his bed.

_'Were they all just sleeping together?'_

"If you're wondering if we all sleep together on the same bed, yeah that's true, mostly." The scarred man replied going back over to his awakening teammates. "You first years will understand later on the whole 'team building' exercises at a later point."

"Plus Yatsu makes the perfect pillow~." Their fashion designer leader answered from behind him. Slipping on her signature black shades for comfort when her partner plopped down beside her. "Now, formalities aside freshmen."

_'He did not just-'_

"You had something important to tell us about Velvet?" Cutting off Ren's train of thought midway.

_'Oh whatever, they are older than us. Time to break the news to them.'_

Ren knew he did not need to sugarcoat his words (as much) when dealing with upper classmen, so here it goes. "Velvet may be involved with our team leader, Jaune Arc, and that's causing complications...of our own." Looking back to his bright haired partner for support, his trajectory led to her very focused eyes trained way ahead of him. She was eyeing Yatsuhashi with an intensity a Grimm sizing up prey would look.

_'This could be trouble later, just let me hope she doesn't act on her urge now.'_ Saying a silent prayer. He coughed gently into his fist before resuming back to them. "Right now, Velvet and my team leader are out in Vale 'shopping' if you will,"

"Uh huh."

"Out together-together."

"Uh huh."

"As in maybe _dating."_

"Uh huh."

"And that interferes with the one true ship that we like to call: Arkos."

"You've lost me now." Fox replied back blandly. Turning his head to look at Coco from her next to him. She shrugged her shoulders as well, knowing full well he couldn't see that but in his own way knew she was as stumped as she was.

"Let me elaborate: Arkos as in, the fusion of Our leaders last name, and his true loves' interest last name, a miss Pyrrha Nikos." Hoping that name would ring a few bells.

"Oh yeah, the first year girl who's a Mistralian champion, hot bod, excellent grades, and word around the rumor mill is she's on the prowl for someone." Coco chimed in now that realization had dawned on her.

"That person happens to be our leader!" Nora finally added to the conversation. "But Jaune doesn't know that!" Quietly snickering to herself.

"Actually, now that I think about it," Coco summed up with her chin in hand. " Velv has been going out earlier than us for the past few days."

Well this changed things, Ren only knew about this one time the were out at this very moment.

"Then this is worst than I thought."

"Hm?" Both Coco and Fox looked up, well Fox more or less the direction of the voice, to Ren. Folding his arms across his chest and closing his eyes on thought. "We have to deter this somehow."

"Why deter it?"

Uh oh. Ren was not expecting this answer. He would at least have thought her teammates or one of them was involved with her already, but they seemed...almost willingly going along with all of this. "What, do you mean 'why'?"

"If Velv finds that Jaune guy nice enough, then why can't she date him?" The beret girl throwing his question back at him. "Who are we to stop her." Fox clued in.

"..."

"You tell him Yatsu."

_'But he didn't say anything. He hasn't said anything this entire time!'_

Ren thought he held the M.V.P for 'Most stoic face' but Yatsuhashi was clearly beating him out on this. _'I need to go back to not talking so much, everyone respected me that way.'_ But either way, Team CFVY...was backing this union? Preposterous, nothing would sink Arkos within an inch of its life! _'Well if you count the time Jaune and I were having guy time and Pyrrha willing gave advice to him to go get Weiss.'_

_'That still hurts my soul a bit but now they've made up since the dance.'_

_'Still, just saying, if I were Pyrrha, I would have taken Jaune by his scraggly blond head, drug him back to the room and made for **damn **sure he had no one else on his mind...No homo. Maybe a little. I don't know anymore, I like everyone but my Soap Opera must continue to live!'_

To much indulging in his own mind had Team CF(V)Y looking to Ren in an almost worried manner. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "But Pyrrha and-"

"Listen, until I see it with my own eyes, you've got no support on your 'Arkos' drama going on. But now that you mention it." Making to look at the time on her scroll, with a nod of her head, Yatsuhashi stood up and made way for the door, Fox as well. "Maybe we should go take a peek at the love birds in action." Giving Ren a small wink behind her shades. Just in passing him, he felt a small yet firm slap on his rear and tried not to 'eep' in response.

_'Everyone just violates my personal space and I clearly have no say in it.'_

While they exited, The lotus warrior could feel a strong, and deadly aura emanated from next to him.

"Now Nora, she didn't mean it." Trying to calm his counterpart down. "Instead of thinking of ways to break our senpai's legs 46 times, let's catch up and see what 'Scarlet Knight' is up to.

_'Good lord, I already thought of a ship name for them. Must amend this immediately.'_

* * *

><p><em>'I keep forgetting...I...have very low stamina.'<em>

The ride with Team CFVY back to Vale wasn't the problem, the problem being as soon as they landed, they sped off to anyone of the nearest gift shops in Vale in search of the couple. And chasing them down to every single one of them was a very taxing chore. At one point, Nora had to piggyback Ren he was so exhausted. The day was getting nearer to an end before they all would eventually have to go back to their dorms, but the late afternoon red sky was too promising to miss.

After 3 unsuccessful run-by's of Team CFVY's whereabouts, the duo finally found them. Off to the side partially hidden by the corner of a building while Jaune and Velvet sat outside. "Oh, you guys are just in time! It's just getting good~" Coco spied happily. Fox with no direction to look to turned for a better solution and turned his ears to their conversation.

"Speaking of which..." Eyeing said blond up and down. "Get past the slightly tacky look he has for himself at this angle, and Velv has something goin' for her." Patting Fox on the shoulder who was right below her.

"Are you sure he's not a chic?" The blind man pointed out blankly. From what he could hear, said blond sounded rather raspy in voice and just a bit squeaky. Or a very girly man.

"..." This was Yatsuhashi's silent input while staring at the subjects from afar.

"Yeah, I'll go with your word Yastu."

_'Must have some kind of silent understanding of what he's saying, because once again, I did not hear a thing.'_

Nora having finally set him down to regain his bearings. It was now Nora laid her eyes on her target from before. Eyes locked on to the 7 foot tall giant. Ren beside her just blanched and looked wasn't gonna try to fight this anymore with her. Watching her stalk up to the giant, Yatsuhashi took his eyes off of his target to look down at the much smaller girl. Nora only came up to waist just barely though. For a tense moment, aqua met cobalt black between the giants and the hammer wielder. A wild grin spreading across her face.

"Ren, look at this big ass tree!"

_'And it begins.'_

"Nora, please don't-"

"I'm gonna climb him!"

"I'm so sorry about this." Ren gave his apologies with a light bow, now that Nora had made it to the top of him and sat on his shoulders.

"I'm Queen of the castle! Kyah ha ha ha ha!"

_'And...I've lost her.'_

The other stoic, seemed to pay no mind gave a light shrug, turning back to survey his previous subjects.

_'I'm surprised he's letting her do this.'_ Meanwhile Yatsuhashi just shrugged and turned back to his intended target. For now, team CFVY had done nothing to interfere, more so watch as the events played out before them. He rolled his eyes at their senpai's antics. He half expected them to intervene like the good pack and steer their shy bunny girl away from his blond leader.

But here they were watching the 2 like it was _their _Soap Opera.

_'Where do they get off, stealing my ideas? Their entertainment must stem around Velvet more than anyone else. ' _It was then the realization hit him and his eyes widened considerably while the couple giggled at something Jaune said.

_'Oh my Oum, they're just like-'_

"Ren?"

"Pyrrha?"

Everyone trying to hide behind the bend of the building turned their heads at the same time to the Spartan clad in bronze.

_'Oh wait Pyrrha. What is she doing here, this is not good abort mission now. We are ALL about to get messed up.'_

This was the person he least of all wanted to run into while her obvious interest was out and about with another woman. Time to find a reasonable excuse. Calmly breathing to cater to his teammate. She was already trying to spy what was going on just around the corner. Emerald eyes scanning just up ahead.

"Pyrrha, now I know what this may seem like but this is surely not what it looks like." Ren tried blocking her view as best he could. But he found that a bit difficult when she was taller than him. He spied a look back to the blond and the bunny sitting with their backs to them, carelessly laughing with each other when Velvet's hand landed atop Jaunes'. And Jaune didn't seem to notice at all. "Now now Pyrrha, this _isn't what _it looks like-"

Pyrrha was known as a very calm, and _understanding _person. But touch what does not belong to you and mayhem will rise. Scanning out the targets ahead, she noticed a very familiar blond head of hair. Her heart lifted instantly, but upon seeing Velvet, the recently acquainted faunus girl they all felt sympathy for in first semester, and then kicked ass in her own team of 2nd years, lay a hand in contact with said blond, blood began to rise.

Ignoring Ren's ramblings of trying to dissuade her, she took hold of his wrist and twisted inwards, incapacitating him and cutting off his speech mid-way.

"Ow, why would you do that?!" He dropped instantly to the ground, holding his hand. She walked past them and up to team CFVY who saw the display happen. A blank face was met to all of the, like a tumble weed passing in the background. No really a tumbleweed passed through the background in silence.

"So, I take it you're Pyrrha?" Fox guessed off the top of his head. Though he could see only aura, hers shined brightly, and sort of menacingly. But why not poke more fun at this situation?

"Meet your competition." Jerking his thumb back to the unsuspecting pair. He felt his leader tap him on his bum playfully hard at instigating even more of a problem. He shrugged her off, he was used to Coco slapping everyone's ass at this point. Pyrrha veered her eyes back to the scene at hand. Jaune wildly talking to Velvet while she patiently listened to him.

"Competition, eh?" Now Pyrrha Nikos was a champion at best. A winner, and when issued a challenge. she would do her best to win and defeat all opponents. Using the word 'competition' probably wasn't the best thing to say for someone who competes in _competitions _for a living.

_'You fools! You've doomed us all!'_ Rens' inner mind spoke out. Recovering from his injury with renewed vigor. Scrambling forth to block Pyrrha's way with outstretched arms. Sure, he wanted Operation: Arkos to happen, just not with the death of someone else to accomplish it. Even Nora sensed her partner's distress and hopped to his defense.

"Now now, hold on, you're not interfering with Velvet's _date _ so long as we're here. Coco stood defensively and the two boys stood next to her threateningly. Lowering her shades to survey her reaction. A glint sparked in the Mistralian's eyes, one all of team CFY, R and N or team JNPR sweat dropped at.

"Pyrrha no!" Ren shouted, holding her back in a Full-Nelson, Nora tried to restrain her by her leg. But Pyrrha, ever vigilant, still managed to move forward. "How is she still moving!?" Nora tried to hold her ground. "I don't know but keep on it!"

Mustering all the energy he could to make a desperate attempt. "Team CFVY help or else your demise will be next!" They in all, were still confused as to what was going on. So why not make it clearer for them.

"Even if we're not on the same side right now, Pyrrha is on _no one's _at this moment!"

"..."

"Velvet's in danger!" Fox grit his teeth, Coco's shades loosened and Yatsuhashi...looked blank. Ren internally face palmed.

_'Does this guy literally show no emotion at any given situation?'_

"Velvet will not be compromised!" Fox yelled a war cry while rushing forward assisting Ren. He gave a silent thank you back to him. "This isn't for your benefit, but for mine." Ren sweat dropped. Coco's approach was slow and deliberate, reaching into her back pocket to bring out a silver glint shining in the afternoon light. "Maybe these will restrain her just right." Clinking the chained metal together.

"She has handcuffs on her at all times?"

"One rule of Coco is: Do not question why Coco carries handcuffs at all times." Fox reprimanded for good measure. The red head they were trying to restrain still managed to move forward. 2 grown men and a woman strapped to her leg.

_'Oum Pyrrha? What do you even lift bro?'_

As Coco made it closer, the cuffs in her hands began to rattle. She looked down and almost instantly, the cuffs unhooked themselves and towards both hands of Fox and Ren respectively. Not even giving them a chance to look down at what had just been done, the two were flung back and away from Pyrrha onto the ground.

"So yeah forgot to mention something else too..." Well this information would have been relevant sooner but he was pretty sure she didn't want her power broadcasted to everyone else. He felt his wrist move with Fox's, since he raised his hand up and heard the clinking of cuffs, inspecting them with sound.

"Somethin' about controlling metal I'm guessing?"

"Bingo."

Now that she was free of 2 boys, there still lay the problem of Nora attached to her leg. Ren seeing the usually calm warrior go for his partner, panicked and re-doubled his efforts in trying to restrain her. Jerking Fox along with him since they were hand-cuffed together. "Pyrrha wait!" Coco now joining into he fray since Pyrrha amped up her own resolve to get to the couple turned away from them.

From the front view of Velvet and Jaune while they chit-chatted, this looked like a very odd scene playing out behind them that usually happened in of those wacky animes with hilarious background scenes.

Velvet and Jaune talked while Pyrrha walked forward as best she could with 4 people on her. She failed on one attempt and fell forward, having the others drag her back by her legs while she clawed the ground going behind Velvet's back. She came back full force with a leap forward and all four clamored onto her back. Using her inhumane strength to make it forward. Nora was the first to come off and be thrown behind Jaune's back and the hammer-wielder zooming back to her leg.

Ok now this was just getting ridiculous.

"Yatsuhashi! Initiate maneuver G!" Fox strangled out o the silent warrior. Seeming to recognize this phrase, he staked forward just as the 5 were standing. As an automatic command, he opened his arms up and managed to hug all of them together to his chest and lifted up into a giant bear hug. Now all 5 teens were being hugged to death by a very large swordsman that said no words.

"Good work Yatsu!" If Fox could thumbs up him he would but the sound of his lungs being crushed from said bear hug with too many people was thanks enough. Pyrrha couldn't possibly break this hold now.

"Just what the heck is going on?"

Everyone in Yatsu's grasp stopped struggling to look behind the giant. There stood Jaune and Velvet, with both arms crossed.

"Oh you know a bit of reconnaissance for a future mission, training techniques, you know this one Velv!" Coco gasped out to her, gesturing to Yatsuhashi's hold he had on all of them. What no one noticed was the 1 bag in a particular persons' hands. Velvet seemed just a bit miffed at all of this. "You guys...didn't forget did you?"

At this everyone stopped moving to look at each other, even Pyrrha to everyone else from her question. When they all shook their head 'no' she sighed and tried not to blush up a storm. Jaune tried his best to calm her down with a smile.

"You first years aren't involved in this sort of thing but from second years up to seniors, we always present our partners on our respective teams with a memento from our time together." Rearing her eyes to her gentle giants eyes, Yatsuhashi immediately dropped his cargo from his height onto the ground and turned to the faunus girl. The group collectively gave groans of discomfort from being dropped on top of each other.

"You know, team bonding exercises and all?" Jaune agreed, deciding to step away from the twos' interaction. Instead walking towards Pyrrha who was recovering. "They said that the Headmaster chooses which of the partners presents their gift that year so it was Velvet's first time." Now that it seemed that all this was just a big misunderstanding maybe...

"So, what we all thought was something else completely as actually...?" The Mistralian tried to sound out to her leader. He only laughed nervously back at her situation. Trying to beat back the awkwardness shuffling his feet in front of his partner. "Velvet asked me to help her with her gift for a certain partner of hers.." Looking back over now to the blushing Velvet when she fished out her gift to Yatsuhashi. His face for the first time shows a faint blush as well coloring his cheeks, and he accepted it gratefully.

"She uh..wanted to know the things some guys like. But in the end she settled for something more homely." Pyrrha smiled at the odd duo, she couldn't possibly hold anything now that all this was just an innocent gesture for a friend.

Speaking of which...meanwhile while with Ren...

"I should have figured. Velvet did seem so ecstatic earlier in the week when leaving. So...did you get me anything Coco?"

"Of course I did, now that Velvet reminded us..." Fishing something out of her purse at Fox's side. Ren was on his other side since the two were still hand-cuffed. He still couldn't believe he was listening to this conversation happening.

"All yours Foxy~" leaning over him a bit, Fox felt just a slight pressure on the bridge of his nose and something being adjusted. "There you go." Smiling at her own work.

_'Did she just-'_

"Please tell me these aren't glasses." Sarcasm lacing his replying back. "Because you know I'm blind." Raising his left brow at her.

_'This guy has no problem at all admitting his disability.'_

She patted his shoulder playfully. "Of course not, they're shades. The best Vale's got for 600 lien, but I know the owner so special discount price, for a_ friend._" Saying that last bit in a sultry tone for her partner.

"Bitchin'." Pushing his shades back like they were glasses falling down his nose.

_'These two need their own sitcom.' _Ren shook his still shackled hand with exasperated sigh. When would they free him?

His answer lay with a jolt to the ground on his right. Looking down to the slightly cracked earth, Nora beamed with intensity, with hammer in hand at Ren.

"No one shackles Ren up but me!" With a voracious yell raising her hammer in the air to aim for his links Upon hearing Ren scream, Coco turned to see the hammer and yelled. Fox not knowing entirely what was going on and copied their screams.

"Nora, wait!"

_KABOOM!_

* * *

><p>"Did you hear something?"<p>

A small explosion sounded in the distance but very faintly.

"..."

"Nah, musta been my ears." Replying back to man behind them; Said the individual using their pinky finger to dig out the ear canal that may have misheard something. The red-haired individual with a bang down their right side and marked with a tattoo on the right cheek, stood impatiently, waiting for their friends. A red jacket with piano keys embroidered on the lapels throw over his shoulders rather than put on.

It was just now getting a bit dark out. The airships would stop return visits to the academy soon if they didn't hurry.

"We'd best hurry." The husky tone replied back.

"Ya ya I know." Just behind the red clad person was a much taller gentleman in darker skin tone and several tattoos lining his pectorals, arms, and just around his neck in a long white coat and green spiked hair. Piercing amber orbs looked back at his partner in a showdown. He didn't really have to say anything at all from where their eyes went down to the 2 knocked out individuals behind him.

"We can't take 'em anywhere, can we Sage?" Shrugging from the ordeal they had to go through earlier. Right now, The sleeping Sun was tossed over Sage's right shoulder, and Neptune, he had by the scruff of his collar dragging him backwards behind him.

"That's what we're here for, Scarlet." Reminding his partner of the 2 goofballs they were stuck with for a team.

Scarlet just settled with a long sigh before signaling their counterpart to follow. "Well let's go. They're not goin' to start Volume 3 without US this time!"

Sage humbly nodded and continued their track back to the airship landing area with their baggage in tow.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Longest chapter yet? Longest chapter yet.**

**Catch the 'How to Train Your Dragon' reference of Pyrrha hurting Ren's hand?**

**And please excuse me if most of this sounds like a bunch of ramblings but I've been sick as of late and trying to get this chapter out has plagued me more ways than one. If there are spelling errors, which there probably are, I will fix them when I wake up but I'm way too tired to do so right now.**

**The appearance of Team CFVY and the missing SS' of Team SSSN finally show up as well! Yes, I was rather disappointed as well they did not show up for the finale.**

**Now lemme explain you a thing or two: Yes we all don't REALLY know yet if Fox is canonly blind or not, only by trying to tell from his entirely whited out eyes have fans been coming to the conclusion that he may be blind or partially blind from his fighting in the last episode.**

**As always, R & R, they do always mean a lot to me and encourage me to write no matter if its criticism to help improve on or just you saying thanks. Now most of my work can go into "The Cowardly Lion."**

**Sincerely,**

**Raiken.**


	6. Ren and Fox interviews: Take 1

**A/N: I do NOT own RWBY or it's characters, Monty Oum and RoosterTeeth productions do.**

* * *

><p>"Hello dear readers."<p>

"Hello idiots."

"Fox, please, we're not even in a complete scenario right now."

"Doesn't mean I can't express how disgruntled I am with life."

Ren sighed, putting his face into his palm. "I've told you before Fox, maybe if you hadn't been 'spanking' it so much, you wouldn't be blind now."

Fox paused and stared in the general direction Ren's aura was in.

Currently the two were siting in two director style folding chairs, like being hosts of some kind of TV talk show. Ren stared back just as hard.

"Don't you even-"

Before he could finish Fox had grabbed the next director chair next to him and threw it at the stoic lotus man, effectively knocking him over. Being frazzled just the slightest, Ren stood back up and fixed his chair, hopping back in it.

"Ok I deserved that."

"Deserved what? I didn't see." Oh now Fox was just being a little shit. Ren mustered the blankest, hardest stare he could directing it at Fox who knew exactly what he was doing.

"I wish you knew how hard I was staring at you right now." Fox simply put on a very happy smiling face and waved his open hand in front of his face several times for effect. Then going back to a simple smirk.

"Very funny," deciding to give up this charade. "Anyway, we're here to discuss the continuation of this fic so aptly named "Clothes, Please."

"Why couldn't the author just make an author's note instead of putting her 2 most sarcastic interpretations of characters in a chapter to do this."

"Oh you know Raiken, always on the fly with ideas and the like." Waving his hand to the off remark.

"Wasn't this fic originally about you and Jaune getting it on?"

"Shut up, it was originally decided as a one-shot from my point of view of things from the Volume 2 episode where Jaune dragged me naked-"

"Nope, covering my ears." Placing his scared hands over his ears before Ren managed to snag an arm.

"Not that kind of way, as I was saying, Jaune dragged me as I just got out of the shower to confess his feelings-"

"This just sounds like it's getting worse by the second."

"If you let me _finish._ To confess his feelings for Weiss-"

"Ice Queen?"

"..." At the sudden pause both just momentarily stayed silent. Ren just letting the time tick by. A few more seconds ticked by before Fox tried to start it back up.

"Aren-"

"Oh."

"...Wh-"

"Uh."

"I wa-"

"Nu."

"Re-"

"Op!"

"..." The scarred man decided to stay silent now, catching on to what was happening.

"That's what you sound like every time you interrupt me." Ren triumphantly told him now that Fox stopped talking.

"I will throw another directors' chair at you, you know that right?" He threatened the smaller man. Ren minded his nails, completely disregarding Fox's threat.

"And you do know I'll trap you in a room with Nora." At his Fox visibly sweat dropped. "That's what I thought." Now idly sitting with his legs crossed.

"Now, as I was saying before Tapped-ass over here so rudely interrupted me." Fox shot a glare at Ren's direction. "This fic was originally about my inner thoughts on situations that happened around Beacon academy while Team JNPR was present. As you can see from the last 2 chapters, that premise has changed just a tiny bit and we'll add more original ideas as it strikes us. Now we can't promise every chapter will be over 5,000 words like the previous Team CFVY chapter 5-

"That's like..the most viewed chapter now compared to your documentary chapter."

"-they'll just vary from length. Along with more parody/crack than you can handle, and Team SSSN.

"Team SSSN's gonna appear?"

"Yeah yeah, some Christmas chapter...junk, mainly Sage and Scarlet since they're the real one's who haven't gotten any screen time. And especially with the addition of my blind co-pilot over here."

"Hey, being blind, making fun of your own disability as long as it's within good reason, and sarcastic is 'in' apparently."

"How do you get away with that actually?"

"Oh it's easy, especially helping Coco go shopping. Her asking me 'does this blouse look good on me?' is just priceless when I tell her 'Yes, that blue blouse looks _smashing_.' When she tells me its a red one."

"So you would say you're the havoc causer of the group?"

"5 minutes later I want to go to the restroom and she directs me straight into the women's side."

"Soooo...?"

"Nah, I'd say it's the both of us, but now Velv tags along to keep us both out of trouble." He hung his head low in defeat. Ren gave his newfound friend a comforting hand on the shoulder, understanding his plight.

"You and I are kindred spirits, good friend."

"Wait, aren't canonly you just really really really quiet all the time unless the situation calls for it?" Fox now touching other aspects of Ren's character.

"In all sense, yes, but the author had the idea one day that maybe on the inside, I just like to watch the world burn and have inner talks with myself at how stupid some people can be. I think really there are 2 of me. One that doesn't talk as much, and the _real _me that constantly converses with my other half."

"But now, Raiken has created a monster that does nothing but cause havoc for shipping his 2 teammates together."

"Hey!" Giving the older man a pointed stare. "I know you can't see me right now because you're blind and stuff, but that ship WILL sail!" Fox could feel the intensity in which his friend looked at him.

"Speaking of which, where is the Spartan? I thought she would be tearing you a new one any second now." Noting her obvious absence.

"Speaking of that..." Leaning to sit back in his chair without tipping over. He had to break the news to him some time. "We have to go bail her out."

"What?" The dark skinned male raised an eyebrow at him. "What'd she do now?" Realizing his error and cut his eyes back to Ren. "What did _you _do to her?" Voice turning to a mischievous grin.

"Well, Operation: Arkos part 36527/B in the Vale mall, did not work out as planned and seemed to infuriate her to the point of...wrecking Cardin."

"Again?"

"Again. I was using him for the sub-plot. She's in downtown Vale police office."

"Wait, if you're the cause, wouldn't she have figured it out and just wreck you as soon as you bail her out?" Just giving out his honest opinion. The stoic beside him contemplated matters for a moment before coming to another conclusion.

"On second thought, let's just let her sit there for a while and think about what she's done." Taking that time to lean back even more to rest his arms behind his head. He was at ease now, until noticing his partner's hunched over look in his chair. "Something wrong?"

"If she's in a jail cell, I may be blind but, aren't jail cells you know, made of metal?"

Ren's eyes opened dramatically at the revelation.

"Oh my fucking god..."

Of screen from the 2 a loud crash was heard. Fox visibly paled.

"This is madness!" he yelled before a female voice quickly cut in.

"THIS..IS...REMNANT!"

From the screen, Ren's chair he was occupying was violently kicked over into the air from the side, knocking Fox down with him. A very unmistakable bronze clad leg show fro the side as Pyrrha made her way onto the screen.

"Tu..tune in next time where Pyrrha hopefully won't be so emotionally repressed and taking her feelings out on me." Ren implied from off-screen with a groan.

"Her feelings hurt."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Random ideas kept me from writing chapter 3 of "The Cowardly Lion", plus these 2 idiots were in my head and wouldn't stop. So I decided to get this out of the way so I can focus on real work.**

**Ren: What about that 2000+ word Bar AU thing that you wrote last night involving me and Jaune going out to pick up chicks?**

**A/N: Shut up! I..I didn't write that!**

**Ren: But it's sitting there in Doc manager, I'm looking right at it-**

**A/N: La la la la la!**

**A/N: Anyway, this was on my mind bothering me, had to get it out so I can focus on TCL.**

**Fox: You're just gonna procrastinate it.**

**A/N: These two...Also, be warned of changing description of this story, it'll still have CONTINUING on the front! I do read everyone's reviews and your continued support does drive me to write more often to make you guys laugh and be happy!**

**Sincerely, **

**Raiken~**


End file.
